second semester, here we come!
So I officially (and finally) just posted my last grades for the first semester of the 2009-2010 school year (*big sigh*). Of course, I didn’t think ahead and had my AP literature students write four essays in one week. It seemed like such a good idea at the time: give the students two last practice essays before their final exam, which included two more essays. But I forget so easily how long it takes me to grade one set. I usually take AT LEAST one hour. And today I was not in a grading mood. Am I ever in a grading mood? What does a “grading mood” look like anyways? “Oh yay for me! I get to grade seventy seventh grade test essays!” (head slams forward on my desk) OR “Oh yay! I didn’t think ahead and now I have fifty AP essays to grade in two days! (eyes roll back into my head as I begin to slip into an oblivion of bad dreams where the titles of poems are underlined and the titles of novels are in quotation marks, absolutely no textual evidence is mentioned to support an idea, and first and second person pronouns are slapped carelessly on the paper). Boo.
I was getting really discouraged because the year is half way over, and some of my students are making the same mistakes they made at the beginning of the year…so I start doubting my abilities as a teacher. I understand that this is my first year and that this is the first year the course is offered at the school, but I just don’t like that excuse to NOT get top scores out of my students. I expect top scores, I push for top scores, I feel like I give tips and techniques to earn top scores. But there are so many other factors to a student’s score. They are nervous because this test is called a “final.” They had a bad morning. They are tired because they stayed up late studying for a different class. Their mom finally checked Edline and didn’t like what she saw and went crazy on the way to school. They didn’t eat breakfast. blah, blah, blah…excuses.
So I have come to the realization that I need to be more proactive in teaching the traits of in-depth analysis, logical argumentation, and the effective use of strong textual evidence. I need to get past my feelings of inadequacies and inferiority so that I can TEACH, not just correct and grade. This is my goal for the second semester, especially the thirteen weeks before the exam. I’m scared because this class is asking a lot of me. Not more than I am willing to give for the success of my students, but maybe just a little bit more than I have time for. I would love to dedicate hours to study and prepare and plan and organize, but the sad fact is that I feel I am already stretched to the maximum with the other classes. I’m hoping that the extra grader and the student teacher will help lighten my load; although I am a bit skeptical: managing others can be more difficult than doing everything myself. I am relying on God’s Word which promises “rest to my soul” if I will “learn of [Jesus].” Such a great promise is mine for the taking!
