Living, Loving, Teaching

It is much easier to be thankful for something in its absence than when it is present. This is what I was reminded of this week at the “professional development days” at school. Is it because of a fallen human nature that we tend to be thankful for something only after it is too late? So I am thinking of some things for which I can be thankful while I still have them:

* my parents who love God themselves and taught me to as well
* my sister who is always there for me when I need a friend
* my brother-in-law who takes care of my sister
* my surrogate brother who will become a Christian one day
* my entire education being from a Christian perspective
* my church and the ministries from which I benefit
* my pastor who truly loves God
* my job where I get paid to do what I absolutely love
* my boss who is amazing to work with and for
* my friends, both new and old
* the opportunity to disciple another Christian
* the love of reading and the opportunity and ability to participate in it
* God’s word that is true
* living in California
* having good housemates
* my physical and mental health
* my computer
* my car
* my soft bed and warm blankets
* my room heater
* warm water in the shower
* the ability to memorize Bible verses
* the Holy Spirit that teaches me the Word
* a God who leads me to do right
* students who like English class
* the freedom to talk about the Bible at school
* walking to school to save gas money
* knowing how to cook basic foods
* being able to travel to other countries
* friends that love God
* fellow English teaches who think like me
* the public library
* my job isn’t threatened by the economy
* my family lives near enough to visit
* being happy as a single person, not unhappily marrying the wrong man
* not having student loans
* getting to teach AP Literature to this particular class first
* my imagination
* William Shakespeare
* that the 118 freeway helps me avoid the 101 freeway
* electricity in my house
* chocolate
* visiting preachers and missionaries
* my friends’ cute babies

Most of these things on my list are temporary. The fact that God would bless me with things that are not of any value to eternity shows that He does have my best interest at heart, and He wants me to live a successful, happy, and productive life here. Most of these things are unnecessary and remind me how much God loves to give good gifts to His children.

Psalm 104:28 “…thou openest thine hand, [I am] filled with good.”

Yesterday I went with two friends to see Love’s Labour’s Lost, performed by the same company that performs at Shakespeare’s Globe in London. We, as English teachers, tried to get some of our students to come with us for the experience, but the student discount was invalid for weekend shows. So it ended up being a teacher-only field trip, but we have so much fun! The theatre was almost brand new, and the acoustics were amazing…the costumes were beautiful…the music was authentic…and the acting was sensational!

So how did Shakespeare end up with so much literary genius? I mean, there have been great writers over the centuries, ones that have given insight into human nature and showed skill with language. But EVERYTHING that Shakespeare has written is famous! Many words, phrases, and ideas that we use in English today are a direct result of his writings. Second to the Bible only, I think Shakespeare’s words have been the most widely read and memorized. It’s amazing to me that one person can have so much influence on a entire world. Yes, I am not talking just about the United States: last year, this company toured to Seoul, South Korea.

My appreciation and love of William Shakespeare as a writer grows every time I see or read a play. His understanding of humanity and grasp of the English language amazes me. I know this is so stereotypically English teacher-esque, but it has not always been this way. The more I read and study, the more I have seen Shakespeare’s influence in other works.

And all this praise is just for him as a writer; I haven’t even started to talk about him as a POET!

I don’t really want to go to bed right now, even though I know I should. This is my reasoning: If I go to bed, I will fall asleep; but in the morning, I will wake up feeling tired as if I haven’t slept enough. I hate waking up feeling unrested. So I know my reasoning is tiny bit flawed in the logic department. I just really dislike waking up. Once I’m up, I’m usually okay; but it’s that first moment of realization that it is time to wake up. The alarm vs. my warm blankets. The alarm again (after I “snooze” for five minutes) vs. my soft pillows. I really love my job and what I get to do, but it’s those first few moments of my day that really get me down.

Actually, for the last few weeks, this has become an even greater problem. I realized while I was sick that if I take medicine before I sleep, I sleep really well. But then I cannot take medicine every night before bed. That would turn into an addiction. I imagine myself in a couple of years taking prescription sleep aids just to function the next day. (Well, maybe not that far: I’m so exhausted most days that I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.) But the problem is that my brain doesn’t shut off when I sleep. I dream and fret while I’m asleep. I think this is why I wake up feeling exhausted STILL. This is quite frustrating to me. I will be stressed out and all I will want to do is sleep. But after that point, when I am completely overwhelmed with my responsibilities, I will try to sleep and I CAN”T. What’s a teacher supposed to do? Everyone tells me to back off on stuff and take it easy. But I examine and ponder over my life, and where can I back off? How do I just stop doing what I am supposed to do? I guess I could start working less diligently and doing enough to get by. Who is that going to benefit? Certainly not my students. I expect them to give their all, and I will do the same…even if it kills me (which it very well may one of these days).

So the Faith Baptist Schools annual candy sale has begun. In a moment of utter delusion, I promised my students to give them an open-book final exam for grammar, literature, and vocabulary/spelling IF they sold/donated at least two boxes each and they sold 275 altogether. They were really excited; and then I got really scared that they would actually do this, and I would be forced to keep my word. What am I thinking?! I’m going to completely ruin my reputation here at the school! My entire tenth grade class will pass the semester whether or not they learned the required material! Why can’t I just eat a goldfish or shave my head? But it was too late. I had spoken without thinking beforehand. However, I have such considerate students: they assured me that I would be a legend and that I would henceforth be known as “Miss Rollema, the merciful.”

I’m am consoling myself with the hope that they will not each sell/donate two cases each because the 275 is within reach for this group of students. They amaze me with their school spirit — or perhaps their hopefulness in an open-book final!

If you would like to donate $32 (equal to one case of chocolate), please let me know! The proceeds will go towards phase 2 of our school library complex. Actually, any amount of donation will be much appreciated by my sophomores. Let me know if you want to contribute!

Here I am, joining up with the bloggers of the known world. I am excited to test my experiment. Originally, I thought I would need to start a blog because eventually I would require blogs from my students, instead of handwritten journals. I’m not so sure if I want to require them to stop handwriting in order to maintain a blog. I still believe that there is something special in actually writing thoughts on a physical piece of paper. Perhaps I am old-fashioned, but I’m not sure I’m ready to ask my students to make this transfer.

So I figured it would not kill me to test my own theories about handwriting versus typing. I will humbly admit that I do not journal as much as I should. I think about how I should write three times per week, just as I require of my students. I justify my lack of writing by reminding myself that I am the one preparing and grading for these students who are learning to write. And I have already put in my time of forced writing.

Somehow in the depths of my heart, though, I miss those forced writing exercises. It is just so difficult to carve out time to do things that are not required. This past summer, I wanted to start writing again for myself. I had dreams of writing some poetry. Sadly to say, that did not happen.

In conclusion of my first post ever, I would like to say that I envision myself really enjoying this blog and keeping it up as a part of my stress-relief regimen (which currently involves only eating chocolate).